England's Lament: The Past Repeats
by Doglover7
Summary: England was broken after America left him. He felt both guilty for not being there for America like he should have been and betrayed by the little brother he raised. What will it take for him to leave the past behind? What will it take for the wound on his heart to heal? Can he ever forgive America? Can he ever forgive himself?
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Hetalia

Please review, follow, and favorite

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It was the year of 1812, and England was crying as he looked down at the tiny clothes he held in his hands, getting damp with his tears. They were the clothes that America used to wear when he was little. It had been over twenty years since that day, but the wound on his heart stung like it happened only yesterday. He could hear the words America had said repeatedly echo in his mind.

_"England, you used to be so great. I'm not a kid anymore, and I'm not your little brother!"_

Those words struck at England's heart without mercy each time he heard them, but it was as if he was at a concert from hell. His mind was a pianist who kept playing the same song without ever stopping and those words, those words that America had said to him all those years ago, they were the song. There was a door that trapped him inside of his own mind. He tried to open that door and leave the past behind him, but no matter how hard he pulled the handle of the door, it would not budge. The door out of the painful past was like a decoration painted onto the walls of his mind. England did not know if he would ever be able to open that door. Could he ever escape?

He already knew the answer. There was no escape. It was too late for that. Those words had been spoken. The shot heard around the world had been fired. The war had been fought. The lives of many brave men had been lost, the light in their eyes blown out like a candle, never to be lit again. Even with all the magic in the world, the past can never be changed. He, like Shakespeare's Macbeth, had cleaned his hands of the blood of the men who had fought in that war, but in the end you never can wash the blood from your hands. The more he thought about it; the more it hurt, yet the more it hurt; the more he thought about it. It was an endless cycle of pain, confusion, spite, anger, and most of all, betrayal. Pure betrayal.

England heard a soft voice outside of America's old room. For a moment, he thought that it belonged to America, the little brother he lost. "What is it you want, America?" England asked the boy, before realizing his mistake. The voice did not belong to America. It belonged to Canada, America's quieter brother. "I'm sorry, Canada." England said apologetically.

Canada frowned, he was very worried. "England, I'm scared. You called me my brother's name. Speaking of my brother, America is invading my land. Why would my brother do that? He was weak like me once. I've fought him off before, but now he is stronger. Does he think he can march all over my land as if I wasn't even there. Also, India has been really upset lately. I tried to ask him what was wrong, but he ignored me. He acted like I didn't exist." the quiet nation said in a soft voice.

England felt sorry for Canada. As America grew stronger and the world started to pay attention to him, Canada grew less noticeable and faded into the background as people ignored him in favor of his brother. Canada looked so much like his brother, and sometimes England wished that he actually was, so that the pain of America leaving him would go away.

England knew that he could not change the past, but he could keep it from repeating. He would talk to India, help him through his problems. He would be there for him like he should have been there for America. He would speak with America, let him know that couldn't take Canada away from him, too. Losing the thing closest to America would be too much for him to bear. If only England had known intervening with America would only lead to more bloodshed in the war of 1812. He had stopped America from taking Canada away from him, but at what cost? His wounded heart from the American Revolution didn't heal, it got even bigger.

He did get India to confide in him, however. The colony was worried about his little sister Ceylon, also named Sri Lanka, whose lands were becoming overrun by the Dutch. They had taken over everywhere except for her vital regions. She had gone from being an entire island to being a single city. She was almost a Dutch colony. India was terrified by the idea of his beloved sister becoming another Netherlands, and begged England to help her.

England knew that he had two help the little island. He would save her from the Netherlands, or worse France, who happened to be taking over land occupied by the Netherlands at the time. He would raise her like he had raised America, but this time, he would not make the same mistakes. Maybe then, he might be able to open the door trapping him in his own mind. After all, he may not be able to change the past, but he could keep it from repeating itself.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own hetalia.

Please review.

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Sri Lanka was terrified for her precious island. It had become overrun by the much more powerful Europeans, and India was nowhere to protect her. She was forced to fend for herself. She watched the elephants playing in a river under the light of the golden sunset. Her eyes began to water when she saw two little elephants playing together under the watchful eye of their mothers. She couldn't help but think back to when her and India used to play like that, while being watched by their loving father, the Indian Empire. Their father had been great. He conquered much of Asia and fought against the Roman, Chinese, and Persian Empires. But then, he disappeared. It was as though he never existed. But India was there to keep her safe. They used to ride elephants together as they watched for intruders. But then the men of Europe came, and around that time, India disappeared as well. She was alone now. Nobody was there to protect her from the intruders from Europe. She had to protect herself. She had to protect this island, which held so many memories. She would fight the Europeans.

England headed out to travel to the island of Sri Lanka, also called Ceylon. He could see the island's shore getting closer. He could see France and Netherlands fighting, and the Netherlands was about to lose. He landed his ship and walked out onto the shore where the French and the Dutch were fighting and approached the two countries, one of which he hated with every fiber of his being. There was no way he was going to let France claim this island, Ceylon was British territory. "Hello lads, why don't you stop fighting for a second and listen to what I've got to say." England said, trying to get their attention.

France smiled. He knew exactly who was there. France could recognize England's voice even if it came from a three hundred meter long crowd of loud, obnoxious Americans and Italians, all of whom were shouting at the top of their lungs. So England wanted this island too, huh. That would never happen "Ohonhonhon, why should I listen to you? Everyone knows I am superior to you! I will be the big brother of this island. It will be a wonderful French colony." he said, laughing.

England growled at his ancient foe. "Shut up and listen to me, you smelly frog!" he snapped at France. "Why don't we all go and ask whoever represents this island who they want as a big brother?" England suggested with a slight smirk. He knew that he had the upper hand here. England had something, or someone, that neither Netherlands nor France had, and his name was India.

Sri Lanka smiled as the three Europeans got closer. They couldn't see her yet, but she could see them. That was only because she was riding an elephant, of course. Because she was so high up, she could see things that were farther away from her. That made elephants perfect for watching the island for intruders. It meant that you could see intruders from far away, that you knew of their presence before they knew of yours, and that you had a lot more time to prepare for a confrontation than you would if you were on the ground. Sri Lanka knew that the Europeans were here and she would resist them and fight with everything she had.

There they right were. The Europeans were right there, in front of Sri Lanka. They still could not see her, though. Her beloved and loyal elephants, in spite of their large size, were well camouflaged in the monsoon jungles which they called home. She had her entire herd with her, and they were ready to fight. "In the names of Ganesha* and Kartikeya*, my brave warriors, I command you to charge!" Sri Lanka said in Hindi*, with a voice that, although young and tinted with fear, was strong, powerful, and filled with sheer determination. At the command of their leader, the loyal army of twenty powerful animals, each one weighing between 5 and 7 tons, charged at England, France, and Netherlands.

The three European countries were shocked and terrified when a herd of massive Asian Elephants charged at them after a voice that sounded like it came from a child had shouted something in a foreign tongue. England recognized the language. It was Hindi. India used to speak it before England had taught him English. India still speaks Hindi, but usually only when he is talking to himself or to the human natives in India.

The nations could only watch as the herd charged at them. Riding on the back of the elephant which appeared to be the Matriarch* was a small girl who looked to be between the ages of five and seven. They knew that she had to be the one who represented the island, and these animals were the only army she had to fight them with. The girl was weak, elephants on the other hand were not. They realized that they could be defeated by a bunch of animals. It didn't matter if those animals were incredibly powerful, it would be horribly humiliating to be defeated by an army of animals led by a little girl. "Please stop, we don't mean you any harm!" France shouted in a scared voice. He looked like he would wet himself from fear."

England laughed. "Does the little froggy-woggy want his mumsie-wumsie?" He said in a pretend baby voice, making France growl at him like an angry dog. "You don't need to worry poppet, we only want to talk to you." England told the girl in a calm and gentle voice.

Sri Lanka could tell from the gentle nature of the man's voice that he meant no harm."Stop!" she commanded her elephants and they obeyed. She got off of the elephant that she had been riding, went up to the older nations, and asked them what they wanted to tell her.

England sighed as France told the girl that he was there to take care of her as a little sister. The girl was his and India's sister and he would raise her, not that bloody frog faced, wine loving, perverted git. "Not so fast, git. Remember that the girl gets to choose." England told France.

France smirked when England said that. "Ohonhonhon. I almost forgot. Of course she gets to chose. Come with big brother France. We have delicious food." He said, holding out a plate of escargot.

Sri Lanka wrinkled her face at the sight of that food. "Yuk!" she exclaimed. "That looks nasty. I want curry."

England smiled. The girl had said she wanted curry. "I'll be right back." England said as he headed to his ship. He would get India to come back to the girl with him holding a dish of curry.

France was shocked. "How can this be? How can it be that she called his world-famous food nasty. That was gourmet escargot made by France, not burnt scones made by England, but the girl said "yuk." Yuk was a word which when applied to cooking, was only used to describe England's scones.

Sri Lanka noticed the man with the eyebrows return, followed by a familiar face which she had for so long a time longed to see. It was her big brother India, and he had brought her curry. Her beloved big brother had come back. She ran up to India and embraced him, tears of shock and joy flowing in rivers upon her cheeks. "Oh India, Is it really you? I've missed you so much." She cried.

India smiled at Sri Lanka, crying just as much as she was. "Sri Lanka. It is really me. I've been so worried about you. Please come back with me to England's house. It is really nice there. England is like the big brother Pakistan* never was."

Sri Lanka nodded. "I'll follow you anywhere big brother! Just don't leave me all alone again. I love you so much!" she said as India wiped her tears away. Turning to England, she said "Thank you for bringing India back, new big brother England."

England smiled at the girl. "You're welcome, poppet." he told her. He was happy to be given another chance to be a good big brother, but in his mind there was a shadow of a doubt. Would raising Sri Lanka truly heal the wound left on his heart by America's leaving him, or would the past repeat itself and break England's heart even more.

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*Ganesha is the Hindu god of wisdom. His animal symbol is the elephant.

*Kartikeya is the Hindu god of war

*Hindi is a language spoken in India and Sri Lanka.

*The matriarch is the leader of an elephant herd. She is usually the oldest and wisest in the herd.

*Pakistan is a country above India. Pakistan and India hate each other and fight a lot.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own hetalia. Please Review, Favorite, and Follow if you like the story. Thank You.

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Sri Lanka followed India and England to the ship which would be heading back to London. She had seen several ships before, but this was the first time that she had been on one. It had so many rooms inside of it. They led her to a room with a cute little bed in it. "Here we are poppet, this will be your room until we get to London." England told her, patting her hand gently.

There was a pretty little dress on the bed. It was a European style dress, so Sri Lanka didn't recognize it. "What's that?" She asked, pointing to the dress.

England smiled gently at her. "That, dear, is a dress from London. I had it made especially for you. Why don't you try it on. The bathroom is right over there." He said, pointing to a door.

Sri Lanka nodded and went into the bathroom in order to put on the dress. It was so tight. Being used to wearing soft silk saris, the dress was uncomfortable to put it lightly. "How can girls in England even breathe?" she muttered under her breath. Despite this, she thought the dress looked absolutely beautiful. It was made of the some of the finest fabrics available. It was a lovely pastel pink and embroidered with gems. What had she done to deserve such expensive clothes?

She came out of the bathroom to show off the dress to India and England. "Wow Sri Lanka, you look gorgeous." India said to her. She truly looked amazing in the dress. She would have to get used to extravagant gifts from 'big brother' England. He himself had gotten used to it a long time ago. England had found him as a child a while back. He was still a child, not as young as Sri Lanka, but a child nonetheless. He was a 'Jewel of the British Empire' and knew that his sister would be the same.

Sri Lanka frowned. "It really is beautiful, but what did I ever do to deserve such a gift?" She asked curiously. She had never done anything for England. Why would he get her such an expensive dress?

England smiled at his new little sister and his new little jewel. "It is because you, dear little sister, are British Ceylon, my empire's newest jewel. As my little sister, you ought to dress accordingly, but it is more than just that. You have already done so much for me. You, and your brother as well, have given my a chance to do something right. In the past, I have made mistakes that have caused a great wound on my heart, and I haven't been a good big brother. When you meet America, you will understand." he said with a solemn look on his face and water in his eyes.

Sri Lanka frowned, worry in her eyes. "Don't cry, England, it's okay. I think I know what might make you feel better." she told him as she left to find India. India was in the kitchen, which was not a surprise. India loved to cook and was one of the best cooks out there. He made the best authentic gourmet Indian food in the world; however, the only ones who could actually eat his food were himself, his sister Sri Lanka, and his adoptive big brother England. Everyone else thought it was too spicy, and many thought that his gourmet curry was as awful as England's burnt scones. "Big brother, England looks sad. Can you help me cheer him up?" she asked India.

India nodded. Of course he would help. He knew something that should cheer England up. "Sri Lanka listen to me. England loves tea, and Indian tea is the best tea in the world. Even England says so. Why don't you and Ganesha's messenger, Ashar, the Golden Flying Elephant, make him some magical Buddhist charms? England loves magic, so that should make him happy." he suggested.

Sri Lanka nodded and found some paper to use for her charms. The charms had magical powers that protected their holder from negative emotions. Sri Lanka had fun making them with her friend the Golden Flying Elephant. Her and Golden Flying Elephant were really close, almost inseparable. He was given to her by Ganesha, the Hindu God of wisdom, whose animal symbol was the elephant. India also had a companion given to him by a Hindu Deity. She was a tiger given to him by Durga, the goddess of victory of good over evil.

England was upset over the memory of America, when India and Sri Lanka had come in to cheer him up. India had brought him his brilliant tea and Sri Lanka brought Buddhist charms, which he found interesting. England had always loved learning about new types of magic. "Thank you both from the bottom of my heart" he said. India and Sri Lanka were wonderful siblings. They wouldn't leave him like America had, would they? He hoped that they wouldn't, but deep down he knew that a time would come when he had to let them go.


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